i think i have some mental illnesses nowadays
i cant stand people out there buying clothes.
while i am stuck at somewhere.

i hate it
i just hate it.
why cant i go shopping everyday.
why cant i just buy clothes whenever i want

i hate my family.
because wheneber i do something it is wrong..
but i diden realise it until my bf tell me.
is he the one that tear my family and me apart.
i dunoo.
but i guess. i am supose to know the truth.

maybe i know it subconsiously
but diden want to know it.
until he told me.
i cant blame him. as he is always taking care of him

but i hate my boyfriend
i am serious here.
because whenever i say i want to go shopping
he will give me.
ARE YOU SERIOUS LOOK.
and i have nothing to say.
but ok... i know.. u don't lik it.
so i should give up.

maybe i should just stuck myself at home
and do nothing but grow fat.

for once, i gave up alot
just to be with him
but now i think it is kind of silly.
because i think why should a woman give up so much becuase of a man
why cant i just say i wan this means i want this.
and i dun give a damn on whatever.

like in the past,
he hate me wearing short skirt.
and i stop wearing it.
but short skirt is like my life.
argh!... just hate it ok.


i think i need someone special.
maybe a specialist.
someone that can cure me..
from my mental illnesses.
i think i am thinking too much nowaday..
and i am going insane anyday.